State of the Union Drinking Game
I have a feeling that I'm going to need a strong stomach and a few stiff drinks in order to get through tonight's State of the Union address. So, if you're game, here are the rules:Take a drink if:
1. A media pundit mentions the word "reset" during the evening.
2. Barack Obama says "middle class."
3. Nancy Pelosi claps like a seal.
4. Barack Obama says "jobs."
5. Joe Biden talks to Nancy Pelosi while the President is speaking.
6. Barack Obama says, "I'm fighting for you."
7. Any Republican gives the President a standing ovation.
8. Barack Obama calls Wall Street types "fat cats."
9. A Haitian in the gallery is applauded.
10. Barack Obama says "spending freeze."
Drink up if:
1. Any Republican heckles the President while he's speaking.
2. Barack pulls out his new Apple iPad!
Cheers!
posted by The Blue Devil @ 8:18 PM
100 Comments:
I've got a six pack of the new Sam Adams Noble Pils and a couple of shots of bourbon lined up. It could be a long night.
Joe Wilson has promised that he won't be heckling the President tonight. Oh well - I'll be a little bit more sober at the end of the evening, then.
The Supreme Court is getting applause???!!!!
Hi Bets!
I know what you mean - I'd like to see some of the lawmakers turning their backs on the Supremes after last week's travesty.
The cameras lingering on Michelle Obama now. I'll leave the fashion criticism to you.
The dress - meh. But her hair is stunning.
Rachel Maddow is expecting a "centrist, conservative speech" tonight. Yuck - I hope not.
So what's your potent potable of the evening, Betsy?
Here comes the Prez....
The Prez has finally made his way up onto the podium. Get on with it, Barack. I'm parched!
Standing O from Republicans - drink!
I haven't chosen a potent potable. Got get into a bathing suit in five weeks. Ugh.
Where are you going that's warm enough for a swimsuit? Or are you one of those Polar Bear types?
Marco Island for a girls' getaway. I cannot wait.
Jobs - drink!
Republicans standing up - drink!
Nancy's clapping is starting to look somewhat seal-like. Get ready...
Barack turning on the humor - that's clever.
I'm ready!
Republicans up off their seats again and cheering - drink!
Nancy is a seal! Drink!
Wow - Harry Reid's yawning!
Check out the sourpuss Republican faces..
Check out the spray tan on Boehner!
Jobs - drink!
Republicans up - drink!
Republicans up again - you're gonna be shlurrin.
Uh oh - job - drink!
I'm laying off the Maker's Mark and going slow on the Sam.
Republicans up again - drink!
Jobs - drink!
Jobs - drink! Ouch!
Jobs! Hic!
Who came up with these rules, anyway?
Half an hour in and I'm feeling no pain.
I did, although I took some inspiration from a colleague.
That'll learn ya.
Uh oh - jobs and a standing O...
Republicans up - drink!
There was some chanting there but I don't think it was heckling.
Middle class! Drink!
Jobs. Middle class. Drink up, boyo.
I didn't see any Haitians up in the gallery with Michelle. I may be safe on that one. If Wyclef Jean is in the house, I'm in trouble.
I was just thinking the same thing!
Clean coal? Yuck!
Uh oh - there was almost a heckle on that climate change line. Almost.
Ouch. I thought he was done with jobs. Apparently not. Drink!
I'm with you on clean coal. Remember the toxic haze that used to hang over England on humid nights? I'm sorry, you can't burn coal without some of that.
I think Nancy just told Joe to stand up.
Uh oh. Here comes the education discussion.
You dodged a bullet. The rule is written that Biden has to talk to Pelosi. Whew.
Republicans up - drink!
What is it with these guys and community colleges?
Who's the blonde in the blue dress?
Okay - Pell Grants. I'm down with that. Thank you, Barack.
Middle class... twice!
I didn't notice her. I'll see if the camera catches her again.
Middle class X2 - drink! drink!
That was a sip of MM and a draw on the Sam. It's only fair.
Middle class again - drink!
Are the Repubs up again on health care reform? Really guys?! Okay - drink!
Are you drinking?
Repubs up again - really?! Those seats must be uncomfortable tonight. Drink!
Yup! Hic!
GOP up again - wow! Drink!
And again - cheers! I'm off to the fridge.
Uh oh - here comes spending freeze...
What's McCain saying to Lindsey Graham?
I'm afraid so....
Looked like "bullshit" to me.
"Freeze govt spending" not "spending freeze." I have to work tomorrow so I'm not counting that one.
Undoubtedly so.
Middle class - drink!
"Freeze govt spending" and "freeze." Still no "spending freeze."
Some derisive laughter from the GOP but no outright heckling.
Nice one, Barack - taking on the Supremes. And they look pissed!
Repubs up again for earmark reform - drink!
Okay, Barack, you're cutting into "Leverage," now. Wrap it up, mate!
Jobs, middle class, spending freeze and we're done. Come on - get it done.
Barack's getting in some good jabs against the Repubs now.
After an hour, we're on to foreign policy. I thought he'd forgot that we've got troops involved in two occupations.
Why is Al Franken sitting behind a bunch of generals?
And nodding... hmmm.
Oh - I see her now. The blonde in the blue dress is Joe's wife, Jill Biden.
Uh oh, there's an older guy up in the gallery who might be Haitian.
Nancy's clapping like a seal again...
All this foreign policy chat is sobering me up.
Aha - GOP up on their feet - drink!
You just want me sloshed, don't you?
Better you than me!
Uh oh. The Haitian ambassador is in the house!
I had a feeling - drink!
This speech is getting into Hugo Chavez length now.
Finally, Barack sounds like he's wrapping it up.
Oh go on, give us one more "middle class" or "jobs" reference - I could use a nightcap.
So how much of your six pack and MM are left?
Alright, then. There were some tricky moments in there, but I dodged some bullets on Joe Biden speaking to Nancy Pelosi, fighting words, Wall Street fat cats and the "spending freeze." Whew!
Still, I'm going to sleep really well tonight. I'm switching over to "Leverage."
Have a good one. Cheers!
I finished three of the Sams and about a third of the bottle of MM. Substantial for a Wednesday night but I'm still standing.
Thanks for joining in tonight. It was fun!
Dang, I'd have joined you if I'd thought to look for this. And I had a fridge full of the Anchor Bock and a half bottle of VA Gentleman that I need to get through before buying some bourbon that I prefer.
Your rules are pretty tilted towards calling in sick the next day. Lighten up.
How are you feeling today?
Doing alright today, Gooner. Sorry - it was a last minute thought.
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